Small pieces of paper with the names of all participants, “hat”, paper and pencils/felt-tip pens

Exercise description

The small pieces of paper with the names of the participants are put into a “hat”. Everyone takes out a paper. If they take out their own name, they put it back and take another. Their task is to draw the first thing that comes to their mind when they think of the person whose name they picked out of the “hat”. When they are finished, they can look at what everyone else has drawn. If the drawing reminds them of someone, they can write that person’s name next to it.

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The participants split into same-gender pairs. The topic is “What bothers me about us women/men is…” First one person speaks (for about two minutes) and the other just listens. Then the roles reverse.

Discussion in the plenary

Suggested questions for the discussion:

• Who felt uncomfortable doing this exercise? Why?
• What did you not like about it?
• How did you feel about what your partner was saying?
• How would you feel about sharing the details of the conversation with a member of the other group?

An extension of the exercise

After the exchange in pairs, the participants find a partner of the opposite gender and repeat the exercise. Additional questions for discussion in the plenary: “Was it easier to talk with a member of your own group or of the other group? In the second part of the exercise, talking to a member of the other group, did you change what you said in the first part of the exercise?”

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Everyone receives a handout with as many Venn diagrams (three ellipses that intersect, see picture) as there are participants. Write the name of one person for each Venn diagram and, in each of its sets, write down a question eliciting piece of information about that person. For example:

1. Where do you live?
2. What do you enjoy doing?
3. If you were president, what would be the first thing you would do?

Participants have to leave their seats and approach each person in the group and write down their answers to the given questions.

The Venn diagram handouts printable on A4 paper are available here.

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Split into two groups. The groups line up facing each other so that each person from one group has a pair from the other. The pairs stand with their arms stretched out in front of them, but without touching Type of exercise: Interactive, experiential exercise Duration: 30 minutes palms, leaving a bit of space in between. Instructions: “This is a non-verbal exercise. Your task is to get to your wall (your wall is the one you are currently facing), but you have to make sure the distance between your palms and your partner’s is always the same. You have 10 minutes.”

Evaluation

What happened? Did you communicate? How did you agree on what to do?

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The trainer asks the participants to sit in a circle. When everyone is seated comfortably, the exercise procedures are set up as are the rules of the discussion. The trainer then reads the first question (see below) and gives his/her response in two minutes at the most. Then the next person responds to the question and it goes around the circle. Everyone has the right to “pass” on answering the question.

Basic rules:

a) Base your answers on your own feelings and experience, not on theory or a

b) The question is answered going around the circle, not by putting your hand up.

c) The decision to pass on a question is fully respect

d) There is no discussion of answers – only listening.

e) Everything that is said is confidential.

Possible questions (in most cases three or four questions will be enough for one session, depending on the number of participants, the composition of the group, etc.):

1. When did you first become aware that there were differences between the peoples living in the former Yugoslavia?
2. What did you parents tell you to explain these issues?
3. How did you feel when the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia broke up?
4. When did you become aware that the war had started?
5. Were you ever discriminated against because of your religious or national identity?
6. Did you ever feel ashamed or guilty because of your national/religious identity?

Evaluation

Suggested questions to evaluate the exercise:

• How did you feel during the exercise?
• How difficult was it to just listen without being able to interrupt or respond?
• Did any statements anger or confuse you?
• How difficult was it for you to be honest in your responses? Why?

Alternative version of the exercise

This exercise can also be done in pairs (the participants are handed out a list of the questions and they answer them in pairs for about 10 minutes). Then new pairs are made up and they talk in their new pairs for the next 10 minutes. The participants can also propose a completely different list of questions for group dialogue.

 

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1. Three things that I have in common with the rest of the group;
2. Three things that I have in common with some of the group, but not with others;
3. Three things that make me different from the rest of the group.

The participants are told right away that they will be discussing their answers in pairs and that what they say in pairs will not be discussed in the plenary.

When the questionnaires have been filled out, the participants split into pairs for discussion (time: 10 minutes).

The worksheet for printing on A4 paper is available for downloading here.

Evaluation

Suggested questions to evaluate the exercise:

What was it like?

What was easy, difficult, interesting?

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Split into pairs. Instructions: Think about a situation that made you angry, explain the circumstances to your partner and role play your initial reaction. Your partner should respond spontaneously. Then try to formulate your anger as an “I-message”.

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Exercise description

Divide into three groups. Each small group is given two situation scenarios (of the three described below), which they need to examine. They then respond to the questions: How to react and position yourself in this situation? What questions and dilemmas do you have?

After this, groups present the kind of approach they opted for, and a brief discussion follows.

Situation 1: You get an invitation for a guest appearance on a neighbouring country’s national television. The theme of the programme is the process of reconciliation in the region of former Yugoslavia. You accept the invitation and then receive a suggestion from the editors of the show asking you to focus solely on the criticism of your own country during the TV appearance.

Situation 2: You are local CNA partners in organising public presentations of peace work with ex-combatants. You prepare a public forum in your town. A few days before the forum you receive a request from an association of war victims, explicitly demanding that you list them as the speakers in the forum.

Situation 3: Long-term partners from abroad invite you to be part of a large international project (with organisations from Germany, Palestine, Macedonia, Serbia and Bosnia and Herzegovina). The project is especially important to them because of the money and the future survival of the organisation. You have doubts about the feasibility of the project but accept in order to support the partner organisation. After a year, you are the only ones completing your part of the work. The project is now long over and the main joint product of your work (a manual) was never received, nor is it printed, to the best of your knowledge.

Alternative version

Other examples of situations:

1. You are organising a cross-border action with war veterans in a Bosnian town. Your partner from the local veterans’ association suggests a meeting with the president of the Municipal Assembly and he expects them to support the action. You know that this man has been convicted of war crimes before the Hague Tribunal and that he has served his time. What do you do?
2. You are preparing a screening of a documentary film that promotes peaceful dialogue. You receive an offer from a controversial folk music star whose family members have ties to organised crime to support your activity by showing up at the press conference. What do you do?
3. A foundation that you sent one of your project proposals to writes to you requesting that you clarify your participation in another project that was authored by a long-term partner of yours. You know nothing about this other project and were not consulted in its creation. It turns out that the contents of the other project mostly entails an evaluation of your work and requires skills and experience that only your organisation has. The foundation generally does not give multiple project grants to the same organisations. What do you do?
4. You have been invited to a talk show to present your peacebuilding group. There are two other guests and both are extreme nationalists – an MP from the ruling party who is a former detainee and a handicapped war veteran. The topic is “War and Peace”. The hosts tells you beforehand that she would like to discuss who finances NGO activism. Your pay is twice the average in your country. What do you do?
5. While implementing a project financed by an important donor who is financing some of your activities for the first time there are serious difficulties that prevent you from achieving the goals you have set. In particular, during the training an argument takes place in a workshop and one of the participants leaves the training and eight other people follow them. The training itself is made shorter by three days. While writing out the narrative report you have to decide how transparent you will be in describing the situation. What do you do?
6. During a public appearance in the media you are asked your opinion on another project from your field that you know a lot about because you participated in it and have a very critical opinion of it. The public has a very negative perception of the person leading the project because of their work on documenting war crimes committed by their own side. You know that this person is very aggressive towards employees and treats them badly and is sometimes authoritarian towards partners. When the host asks your opinion about this other project and the person leading it, what do you do?
7. You arrive at a meeting with your colleague, a veteran of the Army of Republika Srpska, in the HVO* association and you see photographs of convicted war criminals on the wall. What do you do?

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Printout of the questionnaire for all the participants.

Exercise description

All participants are given a copy of the questionnaire. The trainer asks the participants to think back and answer the questions with concrete examples whenever possible (time: 15 minutes).

The following questions are included in the questionnaire.

1.    When was the first time you discovered that what nationality you are makes a difference in the former Yugoslavia?

2.    Were there times when you felt superior or inferior because of your nationality?

3.    Did you ever wish you were of a different nationality from the former Yugoslavia?

4.    Were you ever jealous of another nationality from the former Yugoslavia?

5.    Did you ever feel shame or guilt because of your nationality?

6.    Were you ever angry with your own side because of the way they spoke about people of a different nationality?

7.    How do you feel now about what you are?

The participants are told right away that they will be discussing their answers in pairs and that what they say in pairs will not be discussed in the plenary.

When the questionnaires have been filled out, the participants split into pairs and exchange their experiences and thoughts (time: 20 minutes).

The questionnaire for  printing on A4 paper, prepared for being filled out, is available for downloading here

Evaluation

Suggested questions to evaluate the exercise: How did you feel during this exercise?

What kinds of questions cropped up?

What similarities and differences did you find while working in pairs?

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Exercise description

Choose a piece of music beforehand that all the participants might like and make sure you have the means to play it.

Ask for a volunteer (someone who can challenge the group) and ask them to leave the room. Others will be given the task of preparing a dance with a repeating choreography that matches the music that has been chosen. The group is told that they should come up with steps and practise them so that everyone feels good working together in a supportive and trusting group environment, and so that they don’t want to make any changes to the choreography. Their task is to dance in the agreed-upon rhythm and they are told that the exercise will be over if they stop dancing for 30 seconds.

The volunteer is told that their task is to change the formation of the group or find a way to influence them without using physical violence or standing in their way. They have 10 minutes for their task.

Invite the volunteer back into the room and play the music. For the next 10 minutes, while the group is dancing, the volunteer tries to distract them. After 10 minutes, the exercise is over.

Secret instructions: Before the workshop, choose one person who will be given a secret task beforehand. Their task is to be part of the group but to try and influence the group to change what they are doing and to change their formation. They shouldn’t be too obvious about it and should start their task only once the volunteer is back in the room and the exercise has begun. To be precise, their task is to remain part of the group and to not distance themselves from it but to create change.

Evaluation

Suggested questions for evaluating the exercise:

• How did you feel playing your roles? (question for the group and the volunteer)
• What changed once the distractions started?
• (Ask the person with the secret role to reveal what their task was.)
• Which strategies of influence were successful and which weren’t?

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